Friend Breakups / Friend Blowups

There are Friend Breakups, and then there are Friend Blowups. You know the kind: a dwindling out with a friend that turns into a remarkable flame-out of impressive proportions, complete with bad-mouthing and betrayal. A friendship can blow up over something as simple as a little misinterpretation, to some deep-seeded jealousy and antagonism. As a result, a civilized parting of the ways speedily intensifies into something so rancorous and grotesque, that it literally takes your breath away, not to mention a part of your soul too.

Somehow, the person you thought was your

B.F.F.* suddenly becomes a P.O.S.* — A Piece Of Shit ?

Well, we all have been there, felt that and Ouch…. Primarily it hurts but later you’re convinced it wasn’t worth it …

Indeed, I feel sad to account that even the utmost friendships end. Even the ones you assumed were rock solid and iron clad; with history and reminiscences, unconditional love and support.

That’s what I used to think when I was younger; but something that I got accustomed to, as I stepped ahead into adulthood: Friend breakups started getting unpleasantly atrocious. Unfortunately, now with digital communication and social media, people are fair game for the worst kind of post-friendship fallout. Former friends can hurl all kinds of venom at you while they hide behind their smart phones and computers, harming you with emails, texts, and Facebook posts. If you haven’t noticed lately, fighting with friends in the 21^st century has gotten a lot profaner.

So temme what do you do when your bestie turns into a bitch and your breakup becomes

F.U.B.A.R.? * Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition ?

“I try a lot not to get mad, I try not to get even, I don’t cross you off my list. I don’t give it energy. I just make the decision to walk away, and I don’t look back.” Well it sounds so easy but to implement this gets a lill grim coz that particular person once mattered.

Trust me I try to do the above said, but when you see your so-called friend turn into a bitch and as you sit there watch her spill shit out of her mouth, no matter how civilized you are and no matter how well your upbringing is, it does get difficult to deal with such conduct.

I have very few close friends and many acquaintances. One of the things I value most about my closest friends is that we can tell each other the unvarnished truth, whether that truth is that I am being a bitch, At the same time we can call each other to share amazing or terrible news or turn up at each other’s homes in the middle of the night and in the middle of an existential crisis.

We are fenced by people with whom we are forced to have a relationship, such as colleagues and sometimes difficult family members, and when we choose our friends I think we should choose prudently. Having someone in your life with whom you can be utterly honest is a prized gift.

Having said all that, I am aware that for many people, that is not always how friendship works.  If you were being a bitch yourself, how would you feel if she sat you down and told you that?  Maybe you could be a bit devious and couch your opinion in an anecdote from your past in which you behaved badly, in order to soften the blow and make it less of an overt criticism. In animal behavior terms, show her your metaphorical belly.

We’ve all had friendships that have ended up a little bottom-heavy and it’s unfortunate that most of the time, we all have to get seared before we can spot a bad friend from a good one. I’ve pooled together my own involvements with such kindaa phony individuals that you can read in my upcoming post.

If any of them apply to your friendships, I gravely encourage you to ponder twice about them and try to regulate whether they are really a friend…